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Monday, December 27, 2010

Christmas 2010: A Very Inappropriate Christmas

Christmas Eve:  Grandma Pinky's new tree.

Christmas Eve. The most holy night of the year. We spent the evening at my in-laws, in what appears to be a normal suburban home, but in reality...

Christmas Eve:  Sangria effect.

..it's a den of iniquity.

The evening started innocently enough.

Christmas Eve:  Lauren opening presents.

Sweet children opening their presents.

Christmas Eve:  A man and his ice cream.

People eating ice cream.

Christmas Eve:  Steve eating chicken.

And fried chicken.

But what lies beneath is...

Christmas Eve:  Mike modelling his gift from Aunt Barbara.

Pure evil.

Christmas Eve:  Lauren's broken doll.

First, this innocent little girl broke her doll.

Christmas Eve:  New decoration for Grandma's tree.

Did anyone fix it for her? No! Instead, it was torn away from her so it could be turned into raunchy ornament for Grandma's tree.

Christmas Eve:  Defiling the flag.

Afterward, people started desecrating Old Glory.

Christmas Eve:  Noah hanging back.

That's right Noah - get the police on the phone. This is getting out of hand.

Christmas Eve:  Sydney Crosby dollar bill.

But wait! It only gets worse. Why, is that woman holding a counterfeit dollar bill? I wonder what she means to do with it?

Christmas Eve:  Paying Sean to do the strike dance.

Gif Created on Make A Gif

Christmas Eve:  Noah placing an important call while Mike opens his present.

Better call the police again, Noah. I don't think this residential property has been zoned for adult business use.

Christmas Eve:  Mike's new business.

After Sean's racy dance, Mike was inspired to open his own questionable establishment.

Christmas Eve:  Family portrait.

Even this nice family portrait was tainted by lechery.

Christmas Eve:  Noah's over it all.

I feel exactly the same way about that photo, Noah.

Christmas Eve:  Aunt Linda and Lauren.

Aunt Linda took Lauren aside and used Legos in order to teach her how to fight off a woman who tries to take her free sample of pepperoni bread at the grocery store.

Christmas Eve:  Grandpa and his GIANT tape measure.

Even the gifts were wrong. Who knows what mischief Grandpa is going to be up to with his GIANT tape measure.

Christmas Eve:  Grandma in her Snuggie.

This poor woman was almost suffocated by her Snuggie.

Christmas Eve:  Me and my BIG AND TALL shirt.

And someone was encouraging me to cross dress by giving me this Big and Tall shirt.

Christmas Eve:  MIke's duplicate, too small shirt.

Mike had it the worst. Not only did he receive a shirt that he already owned, but it was many sizes too small.

Christmas Eve:  Johnny's formal attire.

At least Uncle Johnny demonstrated how a proper gentleman should dress.

Christmas Eve:  Noah's best What Me Worry? look.

Don't worry, Noah. Next year, we'll have Christmas at the Playboy Mansion. It's much tamer at Hef's place.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Christmas card outtakes.

Hope everyone is enjoying their Christmas!

The Dark Lord commands you to have a merry Christmas.

The Dark Lord commands you to have a merry Christmas.

Darth Vader, only you could be so bold.

Darth Vader, only you could be so bold. Again.

"Impressive. Most impressive. Obi-Wan has taught you well.

Impressive. Most impressive. Obi-Wan has taught you well.

Your skills are complete. Indeed you are powerful as the Emperor has foreseen.

Your skills are complete. Indeed you are powerful as the Emperor has foreseen.

Did I mention that Mark gave me Star Wars pancake molds for Christmas?

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Deck them halls and all that stuff.

Polar bears.

I pretty much have our Christmas decorating formula down to a science (Get it? Formula? Science? Nevermind.), but I still add a little something different each year to keep things fresh.

The biggest addition this year are these wonderful polar bears. I stumbled upon these while searching on Etsy for something completely unrelated, so I wasn't really prepared to buy them. After I left the listing to go look at something else, I came back to it five minutes later and made the purchase. I just had to have them! According to the seller, they were sold by Martha Stewart's mail order catalog back in the late nineties. May they stand guard by our tree for many years to come.

Ornament filled lanterns.

The lanterns didn't get put away after Halloween / Thanksgiving. I just took the gourds out and filled them with Christmas tree balls.

Moose.

I always like to add a couple of new ornaments to our tree each year. Recently, a brand new Crate & Barrel opened at our local mall. I've been coveting their ornaments for years, but never wanted to pay the shipping costs for such small items. This cute moose fits right in with our other bristle brush animals.

Sweet tweet.

I thought this chubby little bird was just adorable. And the photo doesn't do the glittery red ornament justice. They are too pretty.

Slurp.

And just for fun, here's an unrelated photo of Lauren enjoying her honeydew bubble drink during lunch at Lulu's Noodles a few weeks ago.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Fall wrap-up.

TD Garden

Here we are, a week before Christmas, and I'm still writing about fall. That's pretty much par for the course for the blog this year. Technically, the first day of winter is December 21st, so fall is still fair game as a topic.

So here are the reasons for my latest disappearance:

1.) Lauren and I have been sick for the last two months. She and I have both had terrible coughs that we just couldn't seem to kick. During this time she visited the doctor 3 times, while I went twice. During the last visit, her pediatrician finally diagnosed her with a double ear infection and prescribed another round of antibiotics. As for me, the doctor never did diagnose me with anything, but finally I was put on antibiotics as well. They do seem to have improved our condition, but she and I still cough now and then. In fact, I've suffered two painful muscle strains caused by my excessive coughing.

2.) I've been co-leading a brand new Girl Scout Troop. Now that Lauren is in kindergarten, she's old enough to to be a Daisy. It's been a lot of work and meetings to get the troop up and running, but things are really starting to come together now. I'm in charge of the cookie sale, so if you're craving some Samoas, I'm your girl! There will definitely be some Girl Scout related posts in 2011.

3.) This sentence: "Mom, are we going to spend time together?" And this sentence: "Mom, I want to do something together with you." How can I say no to *that*? And if I do, usually because I have work to do, I get this sentence at bedtime: "Mom, we didn't get to spend time together tonight." Add that to the list of things that I will say to her when she goes off to college.

4.) I've been downright, all around busy, as I'm sure this post and the posts leading up the Christmas, will surely prove.

Speaking of Christmas, since it's a whole week away, there's still lots of time for Christmasing posts, right? Since I'll be off work most of that time and just about all my holiday preparations are complete, I'll do my best to entertain this week. No promises, mind you, but I'll try to make up for the lack of posts.

Now, where did we leave off? Oh yes, Boston. I went to Boston. For business. Again. The absolute highlight of this year's trip is that I got to attend a Boston Bruins hockey game.

One of the many Italian restaurants on the North End.

The TD Garden where the Bruins play is located in Boston's North End, which is also Little Italy. It is literally one Italian restaurant and bakery after another. I honestly don't know how you choose between them, there are so many! After walking through there, I've firmly decided that heaven must smell like an Italian restaurant. It just does.

Me and Bobby Orr.

Outside the Garden is a statue of the beloved Bobby Orr. My boss commented that he looked like a vampire swooping down on me. Bobby's getting up there, but I don't think he's a member of the undead yet.

Bruins consessions.

The interior of the arena is super nice. Here's one of the concession stands in the general admission area.

More Bruins concessions.

They get more impressive as you travel up to the suites. You know that I bought one of those foam bear claws.

Inside the TD Garden.

Here's a view of the ice and the scoreboard during the pre-game presentation.

Fight!

A fight started less than a minute after the puck dropped.

Yellow spandex guys.

I don't know what it is, but everywhere I go these days, there are men covered head to toe in spandex. These guys were hilarious! They sat behind the New Jersey Devils bench and kept heckling the coach.

Me enjoying the suite.

If you sit me down in a luxury suite and hand me a beer, I'll root for whoever you want me to.

We didn't get to do a whole lot of daylight sightseeing this year, but I'll share a few photos that I took around the Back Bay area.

Copley Center at the holidays.

One of the companies that we were visiting has offices located in Copley Center. Copely is basically a large, upscale mall. This is one of the entrances impressively decorated for the holidays.

The Colannade.

Across the street is this cool hotel. I just love the font used in the logo, and the blue Smart cars are just too cute.

Boston Public Library - McKim Building

Around the corner was Boston Public Library.

Personification of Science.

This statue on the exterior represents the personification of science.

Ocean of clouds.

Thus ends our trip to Boston. As we return to Pittsburgh, let's celebrate Thanksgiving.

Playing with pappy.

During past Thanksgivings, I've posted about what we are thankful for, but this year, that would come down to a singular thought: my Dad.

Playing games with Pappy.

Thanksgiving centerpiece.

Our lovely Cinderella pumpkin did double duty as our Thanksgiving table centerpiece.

Thanksgiving table.

Here's a wide view of the beautiful table that Mark set.

Eating rolls, but no turkey.

It's not so bad being the only kid at the kid's table. You get all the rolls to yourself. Not bad at all.

After Thanksgiving, it was time to attend my 20th high school reunion.

Please keep in mind that all of these events are occurring at the height of my illness.

Me & Greg Circa 1990.

So here I am, on graduation day with my then boyfriend, Greg.

IMG_1266

And here we are 20 years later the weekend after Thanksgiving. Yes, while appearances do change, I pretty much found that everyone was exactly as I remembered them.

And that sort of brings the blog up-to-date. I'll try to keep it that way!

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Girl on film.

Make me smile.

I'm heading to Boston this week on business (Not that anyone would notice the difference, given how often I update these days), so I wanted to post a little somethin' before I departed.

Tree climbing.

I've been trying to make an effort to make some time to work on my photography each week. Yesterday, I got real lucky and found a willing and enthusiastic model in Lauren. Our little photoshoot was completely impromptu, but I'm really happy with the way these turned out. Even if she permits me to take her photo, I usually fail to get her to pose and smile naturally, so I don't know what came over her. Don't let her know, but I really should have compensated her for the work.

5.5

You see, I've been wanting to take this blog into a new direction, but I haven't had the time to execute it. Okay, maybe not an entirely new direction. I will always share photos and write about our families goings-on, but I have an idea that will hopefully motivate me to improve my photography skills and publish more content. It's a win-win for everyone! However, with everything I have going on between now and the end of the year, I'm unfortunately not going to have time to focus on this until after the new year. Nonetheless, I am very excited and looking forward to it!

Little Miss Sunshine.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

5.5

Rainbow paper chain.

Today, Lauren turns five and a half years old, so I thought it would be appropriate to celebrate with the previously unseen photos from her birthday party. Since I had to get them stored online anyway, why not?

Rainbow apothecary jars.

This year's theme was a rainbow party. Lauren was really into rainbows - still is in fact.

Presents!

Of course there were presents.

A Pillow Pet!

Like a dolphin Pillow Pet!

Cool rainbow Sketchers!

And cool rainbow Sketchers!

Lauren and her posse:  Ashley, Amber and Lauren G.

Lauren's posse was in attendance.

Wrestling.

And they played a really crazy game with the giant ball that Grandma and Pappy Bruno gave to Lauren. It got really rowdy - you'll have to take my word for it.

Lei wackiness.

Come to think of it, there was all sorts of subversive behavior at the party.

Creepy stalker guy.

Like this creepy stalker guy peeking in the window.

Mr. Scott smelling Ms. Beth's hair.

And Mr. Scott smelling Ms. Beth's hair.

Nappytime.

Mel C. decided she had enough and just took a nap.

That about sums it up (The rainbow cake was lame).

Then it was time for cake. Yep, that look about says it all. The rainbow on the cake was really lame.

Make a wish!

All the same, it was still good enough for wishin'.

More photos can be seen on Flickr.