10 things that we learned from Grandma Gert.

 

This weekend, we said goodbye to Grandma Gert. She passed away a week ago, but I've been putting off writing about her here because I feel whatever I write will be inadequate. I just don't think I can do justice in describing a person was so colorful, generous, and lived life on her own terms.

Because of her extensive work with animals (both wild and stray) and as a school crossing guard for fifty years, she was the subject of several newspaper articles, the final one written about her here. To say that she is a legend in our town, would be an understatement. When Lauren goes to junior high school, she'll be able to point to up at the mural in the lobby and say, "That's my great grandma, right next to Abraham Lincoln."

She was the type of person who was unintentionally funny with her unique (and often very negative) outlook on the world and her ability to tell a story with serious, dramatic flair (and a few four letter words). So here's what we learned from this one-of-a-kind woman:

 

1. A traffic cone is always a thoughtful gift.

 

2. School buses just don't depart from the parking lot, they leave "like bats outta hell."



3. Beware of restaurants that serve,"salty soup that makes your lips pucker."

 

4. Cesar Milan may not know it, but "You bitch!" is a very effective way to get your dog to obey.



5. Most people "ain't got a pot to piss in."



6. Always save the ham bone. You can make pea soup from it.



7. Raccoons love to eat Italian take out.



8. A very large hole is required to bury a full grown pot belly pig (Okay, Mark learned that. I just watched him dig.).

 

9. You can never get too much sun nor be too tan.
 

10. There's always room for another pet.



In newspaper article from 1990, Grandma's self-awareness shines through as she concludes, "When I die, I'm going to be missed. They're going to say, 'She was a nut, but she was good.'"



 We couldn't have said it better ourselves.