Christmas 2010: A Very Inappropriate Christmas

Christmas Eve. The most holy night of the year. We spent the evening at my in-laws, in what appears to be a normal suburban home, but in reality...



..it's a den of iniquity.

The evening started innocently enough.



Sweet children opening their presents.



People eating ice cream.



And fried chicken.

But what lies beneath is...



Pure evil.



First, this innocent little girl broke her doll.



Did anyone fix it for her? No! Instead, it was torn away from her so it could be turned into raunchy ornament for Grandma's tree.



Afterward, people started desecrating Old Glory.



That's right Noah - get the police on the phone. This is getting out of hand.



But wait! It only gets worse. Why, is that woman holding a counterfeit dollar bill? I wonder what she means to do with it?







Better call the police again, Noah. I don't think this residential property has been zoned for adult business use.



After Sean's racy dance, Mike was inspired to open his own questionable establishment.



Even this nice family portrait was tainted by lechery.



I feel exactly the same way about that photo, Noah.



Aunt Linda took Lauren aside and used Legos in order to teach her how to fight off a woman who tries to take her free sample of pepperoni bread at the grocery store.



Even the gifts were wrong. Who knows what mischief Grandpa is going to be up to with his GIANT tape measure.



This poor woman was almost suffocated by her Snuggie.



And someone was encouraging me to cross dress by giving me this Big and Tall shirt.



Mike had it the worst. Not only did he receive a shirt that he already owned, but it was many sizes too small.



At least Uncle Johnny demonstrated how a proper gentleman should dress.



Don't worry, Noah. Next year, we'll have Christmas at the Playboy Mansion. It's much tamer at Hef's place.